Old and New Jokes

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasnt feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday,” and probably have a present for me. She didnt even say “Good Morning,” alone any “Happy Birthday.” I thought, “Well, thats wives for you. Maybe the children will remember.”The children came in to breakfast and didnt say a word. When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, “Good morning boss, Happy Birthday.” And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I worked until noon. Then Janet knocked on my door and said, “You know, its such a beautiful day outside and its your birthday, lets go to lunch, just you and me.” I said, “By George, thats the best thing Ive heard all day. Lets go.” We went to lunch. We didnt go where we normally go; we went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, “You know, its such a beautiful day. We dont need to go back to the office, do we?” I said, “No, I guess not.” She said, “Lets go to my apartment.” After arriving at her apartment she said, “Boss, if you dont mind, I think Ill go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable.” “Sure,” I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends. All were singing “Happy Birthday” and there on the couch I sat… naked.