The truth about investment

A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8.50.
What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubs to invest in Amazon.com.
The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions. Please note the first five letters of this word spell Broke.
What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.
What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.
Where you scribble the latest quotes when youre supposed to be listening to your managers presentation.
A type of trade where, in theory, a person sells stocks he doesnt actually own. Since this also only ever works in theory, a short position is what a person usually ends up being in. (i.e. The rent, sir? Hahaha, well, Im a little short this month.).
The only reliable way to wake money on the stock market, which is why your broker charges you one.
What you do into a pail when you discover your stocks have plunged and your broker is making a margin call.

Did you know that if you took all the economists in the world and lined them up end to end, theyd still point in the wrong direction?

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