Old and New Jokes

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.



It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room



When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, its already too late



Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it



A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 60 year old man says they can only do it in the movies



If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak – it explodes



A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep



Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old



Super glue is forever



McGyver can teach us many things we dont want to know



No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still cant walk on water



Pool filters do not like Jello



VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do



Always look in the oven before you turn it on



The fire department in San Jose has at least a 5 minute response time



The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy



It will however make cats dizzy



Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy