Point at a photo of the interviewers family on desk and start
laughing uncontrollably.

Ask if there is only one emergency exit, grin and say,
Boy!, I bet this floor would be in trouble if someone
barricaded that.

Constantly fidget with your underwear waistband, then blurt:
The strawberry ones are the stickiest, dont ya think?

After detailing your greatest achievement, qualify it with,
Of course I was totally hammered at the time.

Inquire on the offices policy of friends staying over.

Claim you wouldnt even need a sit-in job if Al Einstein
hadnt stolen your secret patent for 2000 Flushes

Over-emphasize your ability to use a copier.

Ask if its O.K. that you sit on the floor.

Mention your resume would have been stronger, but you
didnt feel like making anything else up.

Ask the secretary if shell sit on your lap during interview.

Walk into interviewers office with a tape measure, measure
office from a few angles, put it away, then declare; NOW we can
begin.

Upon walking into the office for the first time ask reception
to hold all your calls.