Old and New Jokes

1. Well, how bout that? Im lost! Looks like well have to stop and ask for directions.
2. You know Pumpkin, now that youre thirteen, youll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Wont that be fun?
3. I noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that.
4. Heres a credit card and the keys to my new car. GO CRAZY!!
5. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating is not good enough for you, son?
6. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party.
7. Well, I dont know whats wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies–ya know– that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
8. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your belly-aching, and lets go to the mall.
9. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend. Heres $100.
10. What do I want for Fathers day? Aahh — dont worry about that. Its no big deal.