Things youll never hear

  • Cindy Crawford:
    Well … Looks arent everything.

  • Yassar Arafat:
    Discrimination? Ill give you discrimination! Israel has over 5 million Jews; we dont have any.

  • Madonna:
    I didnt have a bit of trouble with the singing in the movie, but they did have to dub in most of the acting.

  • Mayor Smoke (Baltimore):
    There are so many muggers around that you cant walk 5 blocks without leaving the scene of a crime.

  • William Clinton:
    Any President who lies to the American people should resign. (Oh wait! He did say that – never mind)

  • Steven Spielberg:
    I just finished my new horror film. Its so bloody, its sure to get a Type A rating.

  • Kenneth Starr:
    I only look at the newspapers every other day. That way, I dont have to read any of the denials.

  • Boris Yeltsin:
    I never worry about waking up to a revolution. If I wake up, theres no revolution.

  • Sharon Stone:
    Todays movies are not only bigger than life, theyre dirtier than life too.

  • Clintons Lawyers:
    Most politicians dont believe a word of what they say. Were amazed that yall do.

Most viewed Jokes (20)