Old and New Jokes

To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday, my brother Franks church is going to have a special No Excuse Sunday:Cots will be placed in the vestibule for those who say that Sunday is the only day they can sleep in. We will have steel helmets for those who say the roof would cave in if they ever came to church. Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold and fans for those who say it is too hot. We will have hearing aids for those who say the Pastor speaks too softly – and cotton for those who say he preached too loudly. Score cards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present. Some relatives will be in attendance for those who like to go visiting on Sundays. There will be TV dinners for those who cant go to church and cook dinner too. One section will be devoted to trees and grass for all those who like to seek God in nature. Finally, the sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who have never seen the church without them.