Only chases cars with Illinois license plates
Wags his tail excitedly when theres a Lincoln Day sale at The Wiz
His face is covered with fur, except right under his nose
Two dogs in sunglasses and ear pieces follow him around
Hes the only dog in neighborhood wearing stovepipe muzzle
Damned if he didnt build himself a log cabin doghouse
Your dog loves chicken (a little-known fact – Abraham Lincoln loved chicken)
You ask Miss Cleo whether your dog is possessed by Lincoln, she says, Uh … yes
Always honest about taking a leak on the rug
He hates the theater

Late Show with Letterman; 10/05/01

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