10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommates potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommates potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, He just didnt belong.

9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, Its spreading, its spreading.

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While youre doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, Soon, soon….

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, Ive got an important message for you. Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you cant remember what the message was. Later on, say, Oh, yeah, I remember! Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Dont eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!? Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, Hooray! Youre back! as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes.

Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, Shouldnt you be going somewhere?

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, No, I want to watch them suffer.