Did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into the meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

Did you hear about the dentist who married a manicurist?

They fight tooth and nail!

Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?

He sold his soul to Santa.

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?

Hes all right now.

Did you hear about the pregnant bedbug?

She had her baby in the spring.

Have you seen Quasimodo?

I have a hunch hes back!

How do crazy people go through the forest?

They take the psycho path.

How do snakes end a fight?

They hiss and make up.

How do you clean ice off tall buildings?

With sky scrapers.

How do you get a frog off the back window of your car?

Use the rear defrogger.

How do you revive a drowning rodent?

Give it mouse-to-mouse resuscitation.