02
Nov

Universal Corporate Translator

ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION:

Youll be making under $6 an hour.

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ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION IN AN UP-AND-COMING COMPANY:

Youre paid under $6 an hour; well be bankrupt in a year.

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AN UP-AND-COMING SOFTWARE COMPANY:

Theres no chance in hell well be the next Microsoft.

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PROFIT-SHARING PLAN:

Once its shared among the brass, you get whats left.

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COMPETITIVE SALARY:

We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

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JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:

We have no time to train you. (and/or)

Please introduce yourself to your co-workers.

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NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED LEADER:

Inc. Magazine mentioned us in an article a few years ago.

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IMMEDIATE OPENING:

The person who had this job gave notice a month ago.

Were just now running the ad.

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SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:

Were cant supply you with leads; (and/or)

theres no base salary to speak of; (and/or)

youll wait 30 days for your first commission check.

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SELF-MOTIVATED:

Dont expect Management to answer questions

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WE OFFER GREAT BENEFITS:

After 90 days, you can join our HMO, which has a $500 deductible and a $35 co-pay.

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