Old and New Jokes

How about never? Is never good for you?
I see youve set aside this special time, to humiliate yourself in public.
Someday, well look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
Im already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
The fact that no one understands you doesnt mean youre an artist.
I dont know what your problem is, but Ill bet its hard to pronounce.
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
Thank you. Were all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
Its a thankless job, but Ive got a lot of Karma to burn off.
No, my powers can only be used for good.
Im really easy to get along with, once you people learn to worship me.
You sound reasonable… It must be time to up my medication.
Ill try being nicer if youll try being smarter.
Im out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…
I dont work here. Im a consultant.
Who me? I just wander from room to room.
My toys! My toys! I cant do this job without my toys!
It might look like Im doing nothing, but at the cellular level Im really quite busy.
At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.