Im not sure Im using this right, but if I am, heres a whole bunch
of viola jokes.

Whats the difference between a viola and a violin?
A violin burns faster.

Why is a violist like a terrorist?
They both ** up bowings.

What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?
Terrorists have sympathizers.

Whats the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?
A dressmaker tucks up frills.

Whats the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.

A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and
a smoking crater where his house used to be. The chief of police comes over
to him and tells him, While you were out, the conductor came to your house,
killed your family, and burned it down. The violist replied, Youre
kidding! The conductor came to my house?

A violist is sitting in the front row, crying hysterically. The conductor
asks the violist, Whats wrong? The violist answers, The second oboe
loosened one of my tuning pegs. The conductor replied, I admit, that
seems a little childish, but nothing to get so upset about. Why are you
crying? To which the violist replied, He wont tell me which one!!

The composition of a string quartet:

1 good violinist
1 bad violinist
1 really bad violinist who became a violist
1 cellist who hates all violinists.