Old and New Jokes

The following are actual instructions found on the named items:



ON HAIRDRYER INSTRUCTIONS;

– Do not use while sleeping.



ON A BAG OF FRITOS:

– You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.



ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP,

– Directions: Use like regular soap.



ON A FROZEN DINNER:

– Serving suggestion: Defrost.



ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: – Fits one head.



ON TESCOS TIRIMISU DESERT

– Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)



ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING

– Product will be hot after heating



ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON – Do not Iron clothes on body



ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE

– Do not drive car or operate machinery



ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID)

– Warning: may cause drowsiness



ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE

– Warning keep out of children



ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

– For indoor or outdoor use only.



ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR

– Not to be used for the other use



ON SAINSBURYS PEANUTS

– Warning: contains nuts



ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS

– Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.



ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW

– Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands



ON A PACKET OF SUNMAID RAISINS

– Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?