One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil.

Devil: Why so glum?

Guy: Why do you think? Im in hell.

Devil: Hells not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here.

You a drinking man?

Guy: Sure I love to drink.

Devil: Well youre gonna love Mondays, then. On Mondays thats all we do. Drink, Drink, Drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab… We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more.

Guy: Gee, that sounds great.

Devil: You a smoker?

Guy: You better believe it.

Devil: All right! Youre gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, its okay…youre already dead!

Guy: No way!

Devil: I bet you like to gamble.

Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.

Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races; you name it. Weve even opened up a Pai Gow poker table.

Guy: Hmmm, Ive never played pai gow before …

Devil: Well now you can. You like to do drugs?

Guy: Yes, I love drugs! You dont mean …

Devil: Thats right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of your head. You can do all the drugs you want. If you overdose? Its okay! Youre already dead!!

Guy: Yes! I never realized that hell was such a swinging place!!

Devil: So… are you gay?

Guy: Uh, no.

Devil: Ooooh (grimaces), you are gonna HATE Fridays!