A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The mans tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, Say, father, what causes arthritis?

Mister, its caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man.

Well Ill be. the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. Im very sorry. I didnt mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?

I dont have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.