Old and New Jokes

1. Can I help you get a size?
(Dont touch that, I just spent an hour folding it and I dont need your hands messing it up again.) 2. Do you need help with anything?
(Quick, my manager is coming around the corner and I need to look busy.) 3. Welcome to (Store Name Here)
(Good, another customer to mess up my entire store just to buy a pair of socks.) 4. Have a nice day!
(Now that you ruined mine.) 5. Thank you for shopping at (Store Name Here)
(Thanks for emptying your wallet with us!) 6. Do you need a shopping cart to help you carry your items?
(The more you can carry, the more you can buy!) 7. I love your shirt! Where did you get it?
(Your shirt is much nicer than the clothes we sell here. Why are you even shopping here?) 8. Can I help you get something down?
(Ill get a ladder and put it up for you since this other nice customer put in the absolute wrong place.) 9. Dont worry about folding it, I can do it.
(You would just mess it up again if you folded it.) 10. No, we dont have any more in the back.
(I just dont want to check.)