20
Nov

You Are So Ugly!

Youre so ugly, when you walk into the bank they turn off the cameras.
If ugliness were bricks, you would be the Great Wall Of China.
Youre so ugly, you went to a haunted house and came out with an application.
If ugliness was a crime, youd get the electric chair.
You were so ugly at birth, your parents named you Shit Happens.
Youre so ugly, your mate wont have to worry about birth control… your face will do just fine.
Youre so ugly, you could model for death threats.
Youre so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.
Youre so ugly, you have to sneak up on your mirror.
Youre so ugly, when you look in the mirror your reflection turns to stone.
Youre so ugly, when you sit in the sand the cats try to bury you.
Youre so ugly, your doctor is a vet.
Youre so ugly, when you were born the doctor took one look at you and slapped your parents.
Youre so ugly, you stuck your head out of the car window and got arressted for mooning.
Youre so ugly, your pet name is Scooby-Doo.
Your girl is so ugly, you gave her a hickey and got a mouthful of fur.
Youre so ugly, you have to Trick or Treat by phone.
Youre so ugly, when your mother went into labor your father went into shock.
Youre so ugly, everytime your mother looks at you she says to herself, Damn, I shouldve just given head.
I know why you look like a horse, because I saw your mother grazing in the field.
Youre so ugly, when we play peek-a-boo – first I peeked, then I booed.
Youre so ugly, you can sink your face in dough and make monster cookies.
Youre so ugly, they call you Taco Bell – when people see you they run for the border.
Youre so ugly, you make onions cry.
Youre so ugly, the tide wouldnt bring you in.
Youre so ugly, I took you to see the zookeeper and he said, Thanks for bringing him back.
Youre so ugly, you mother had to get drunk before she breast fed you.
Youre so ugly, you went to a freak show and got a permanent job.
Youre so ugly, the police sketch artists are afraid to draw you.
Youre so ugly, when you get sick they call the vet.
Youre so ugly, you make blind kids cry.
Youre so ugly, farmers use your picture as a scarecrow.
Youre so ugly, everytime you go out you get chased by the dogcatcher.
Youre so ugly, when you jerk off your hand tries to fall asleep.
Youre so ugly, you cant hail a bus.
Youre so ugly, they call you Moses because every time you step the water parts.
Youre so ugly, you give Freddy Krugger nightmares.
Youre so ugly, they let you park in handicapped spaces.
Youre so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didnt come back.
Youre so ugly, when you went to the zoo they refused to let you out.
Youre so ugly, you cant get a date off the calendar.
Youre so ugly, when your mother went into labor the doctors went on strike.
Youre so ugly, your last name is Link and your first is Missing.
Your girlfriend is so ugly, OPP meas, Oh, please, put it away!
Youre so ugly, people put your picture in their car window as an anti-theft device.

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