* When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five
each other. * During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway. * He tells you that his last good case was a
Budweiser. * He picks the jury by playing duck-duck-goose. * During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy. * He asks a hostile witness to pull my finger. * Every couple of minutes he yells, I call Jack Daniels to the
stand! and proceeds to drink a shot. * He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger. * He places a large No Refunds sign on the defense table