You Know Youre a Mom When …
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- You count the sprinkles on each kids cupcake to make sure theyre equal.
- You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
- You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
- Your kid throws up and you catch it.
- Someone elses kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.
- You consider finger paints to be a controlled substance.
- Youve mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.
- Your child insists that you read Once Upon a Potty out loud in the lobby of Grand Central Station and you do it.
- You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.
- You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since its the only one your child eats.
- You cant bear the thought of your sons first girlfriend.
- You hate the thought of his wife even more.
- You find yourself cutting your husbands sandwiches into cute shapes.
- You cant bear to give away baby clothes-its so final.
- You hear your mothers voice coming out of your mouth when you say, NOT in your good clothes!
- You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
- You donate to charities in the hope that your child wont get that disease.
- You hire a sitter because you havent been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.
- You use your own saliva to clean your childs face.
- You say at least once a day, Im not cut out for this job, but you know you wouldt trade it for anything!!!
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