You Might Be A StarFleet Redneck

Your shuttle craft has been up on blocks for over a month.You paint flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles.You have a shuttle called Billy Joe BobYou refer to Klingons as CrittersYou refer to Photon Torpedoes as PopgunsYou have the sensor array repaired with a bent coat hanger and aluminum foil.You install a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section.You say Got your ears on, good buddy instead of open hailing frequencies.You hang fuzzy dice over the view screen.You rewire your communicator into your belt buckle.You keep a six-pack under your command chair and a gun rack above it.You say Yee-Ha! instead of Engage
You have a hand-tooled holster for your phaser.You insist on calling your executive officer Bubba.You set the fore view screen to reruns of Bassmaster.You program the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens.You paint the starship John Deere green.You refer to a Pulsar as a Blue Light Special.You refer to the Mutara Nebula as a swamp.Your moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale.Your idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overallsYou set phaser to Cajun.

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