Old Jokes | New Jokes

1. Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and thrash on the floor.2.Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santas lap. Refuse to get off.3. Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny youre wearing it.4. Sit in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and forth chanting, Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town…5. Hang mistle-toe in the doorway. When your roommate enters or leaves the room, plant a wet one on his/her lips.6. Hang a stocking with your roommates name on it. Collect coal and sharp objects in it. If s/he asks, say youve been very naughty this year.7. Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you never get to join in on the reindeer games.8. Make conversation out of Christmas Carols. (I.E. You know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night.)9. Wrap yourself in Christmas lights and roll around in the snow.10. Sing: All I want for Christmas is my roommates two front teeth…11. Give your roommate the gifts from the twelve days of Christmas song.12. Build a snowperson with your roommate and place a hat on its head. When it doesnt come to life, cry hysterically it didnt work!13. Whip your roommate screaming now Dasher, now Dancer, now Donner, and Blitzen, etc.14. Tear down all your roommates Christmas decorations yelling Bah Humbug!15. Wake up every morning screaming Ghost of Christmas Future, please have mercy on my soul!16. Tell your roommate youre moving out. Santas buying you a house on 34th Street.17. Pin a pointsetta to your lapel.18. Make anatomically correct gingerbread people and eat the best parts first. 19. Put on a fake white beard and insist that all your roommates friends give it a yank.20. Ring jingle bells maniacally saying every time a bell rings an angel gets his win