A mothers dictionary
Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
Defense: What youd better have around de yard if youre going to let the children play outside.
Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesnt appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name: What you call your child when youre mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though theyre sure youre not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
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