04
Apr

Anger as an artform (language)

The following clearly explains how to use brutal anger in many creative ways, only a few of which can get you in trouble with the law (EDITORS NOTE (as if I have an editor): This post is completely bullshit, and I stand by my claims 0%. In other words, this entire post is a bunch of lies.):

Breaking stuff. Shrieking. Creative, inventive 5 minute bursts of profanity. Are these things exceptable? WELL I THINK THEY ARE AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT THEN YOU CAN JUST… sorry. Now, as I was shrieking, I think this stuff should not only be acceptable, but should be taught over and over and over and over and over again in schools, every grade until the students run amok with meat cleavers in protest, which would be just what the teavhers wanted. I will provide a brief explanatory course in this post so you dont have to go back to school and learn it:

OK, the first thing you should do, if you want to be a professional caliber angerist is to buyu some angry merchandise, such as vulgar t-shirts, bumper stickers, license plate holders, etc. Then you should print some easy to shred business cards and give them to people by force. Now youre ready to start. Here are some commonly asked questions about getting pissed off (NOTE TO READERS: You can e-mail some questions to me for future postings. Try to make your questions strange, twisted,. and above all, NOT COMMONLY ASKED-LOOKING):

Q. What should you do if you are fired?

A. Walk up to your bossand curse at him for 5 minutes. Then blow your nose and/or wipe your ass on all your companies important papers. Now, smash all the electrical stuff in your office. Continue to breake stuff until your entire office is in a smoking heap spread over about 5 city blocks. Make sure you get home before the police come.

Q. What should you do if youre having trouble with your computer?

A. This is a mild case, really. All thats happening is a big complicated thing that you paid a huge amount of money for is REFUSING TO PERFORM SIMPLE TASKS SUCH AS ACTUALLY WORKING. What you should do is throw all the components of your computer at representatives of the manufacturer until he agrees to let you have 100% ownership in the company.

Q. What should you do if you have a Pentium?

A. Ram it up the president of Intels nose and demand a replacement.

Q. Is this damn post OVER yet?

A. Yes, it is.

Q. What address should I e-mail you at with questions, comments or requests?

A. Piercew@aol.com

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