Old Jokes | New Jokes

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill.

The bartender does just as the drunk requested and hands the man a bill for $57.00.



The drunk says, I havent got it.



The bartender gets angry and throws him out into the street.



The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says (with a drunken slur), Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill.



The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he cant possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $67.00.



The drunk says, I havent got it.



The bartender cant believe it. He gets furious, picks the guy up and hurls him out into the street.



The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says (with a drunken slur), Bartender, buy every one in the house a drink, give me the bill.



In disgust, the bartender says, What, no drink for me this time?



The drunk replies, You!? No way! You get too violent when you drink.