Neighbor 1: Hi, there, new neighbor, it sure is a mighty nice day to be moving.

New Neighbor: Yes, it is and people around here seem extremely friendly.

Neighbor 1: So, what is it you do for a living?

New Neighbor: I am a professor at the University, I teach deductive reasoning.

Neighbor 1: Deductive reasoning, whats that?

New Neighbor: Let me give you an example. I see you have a dog house out back. By that I deduce that you have a dog.

Neighbor 1: Thats right.

New Neighbor: The fact that you have a dog, leads me to deduce that you have a family.

Neighbor 1: Right again.

New Neighbor: Since you have a famly, I deduce that you have a wife.

Neighbor 1: Correct.

New Neighbor: And since you have a wife, I can deduce that you are heterosexual.

Neighbor 1: Yup.

New Neighbor: That is deductive reasoning.

Neighbor 1: Cool.

Later that same day:

Neighbor 1: Hey, I was talking to that new guy who moved in next door.

Neighbor 2: Is he a nice guy?

Neighbor 1: Yes, and he has an interesting job.

Neighbor 2: Oh, yeah, what does he do?

Neighbor 1: He is a professor of deductive reasoning at the University.

Neighbor 2: Deductive reasoning, what is that?

Neighbor 1: Let me give you an example. Do you have a dog house?

Neighbor 2: No.

Neighbor 1: Fag!