1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE2. Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?3. OK…. so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the Jags and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the Bucs, what does that make the Tennessee Titans?4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that one enjoys it?5. If people from Poland are called Poles, why arent people from Holland called Holes?6. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?9. Why isnt the number 11 pronounced onety one?10. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesnt it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?11. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?12. What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?13. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ….theyre cramming for their final exam.14. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why dont they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?15. If its true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.17. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?