First Grader

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of

her students.

The teacher asked, Harry what is your problem? Harry

answered, Im too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the

third -grade and Im smarter than she is! I think I should be in

the third-grade too!

Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principals office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to

the principal what the situation was.

The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if

he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the

first-grade and behave.

She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him

and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: What is 3 x 3?

Harry: 9.

Principal: What is 6 x 6?

Harry: 36.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a

third-grade should know.

The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, I think Harry can

go to the third-grade.

Ms Brooks says to the principal, Let me ask him some

questions? The principal and Harry both agree.

Ms Brooks asks, What does a cow have four of that I have only

two of?

Harry, after a moment Legs.

Ms Brooks: What is in your pants that you have but I do not


Harry: Pockets.

Ms Brooks: What does a dog do that a man steps into?

Harry: Pants

Ms Brooks: Whats starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy,

oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Harry: Coconut

Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and


The principals eyes open really wide and before he could stop the

answer, Harry was taking charge.

Harry: Bubblegum

Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting

down and a dog do on three legs?

The principals eyes open really wide and before he could stop the


Harry: Shake hands

Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some Who am I sort of questions,


Harry: Yep.

Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to

get me up. I get wet before you do.

Harry: Tent

Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when youre

bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.

Harry: Wedding Ring

Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When Im not well, I drip. When

you blow me, you feel good.

Harry: Nose

Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a


Harry: Arrow

Ms Brooks: What word starts with an F and ends in K that

means a lot of heat and excitement?

Harry: Firetruck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, Put

Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong


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