14
May

Grading methods

Here is a list of the ways professors here at the American
University grade their final exams:

Dept. of Statistics:

– All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.

Dept. of Psychology:

– Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close
them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and
assigns the first grade that comes to mind.

Dept. of History:

– All students get the same grade they got last year.

Dept. of Religion:

– Grade is determined by God.

Dept. of Philosophy:

– What is a grade?

Law school:

– Students are asked to defend their position of why they
should receive an A.

Dept. of Mathematics:

– Grades are variable.

Dept. of Logic:

– If and only if the student is present for the final and
the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student
will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.

Dept. of Computer Science:

– Random number generator determines grade.

Music department:

– Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the
instructor play the corresponding note (+ and – would be sharp
and flat respectively).

Dept. of Physical Education:

– Everybody gets an A.

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