28
Jun

Helpdesk #2

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under Windows. The woman then responded, No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine.



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Tech Support: How much free space do you have on your hard drive?

Customer: Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet,and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?



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Tech Support: Ok Bob, lets press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter P to bring up the Program Manager.

Customer: I dont have a P.

Tech Support: On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech Support: P on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: Im not going to do that!



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Overheard in a computer shop:

Customer: Id like a mouse mat, please.

Salesperson: Certainly sir, weve got a large variety.

Customer: But will they be compatible with my computer?



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I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep it.



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Customer: Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?



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I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that go something like this:

Customer: Hi. Is this the Internet?



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Some people pay for their online services with checks made payable to The Internet.



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Customer: So thatll get me connected to the Internet, right?

Tech Support: Yeah.

Customer: And thats the latest version of the Internet, right?

Tech Support: Uhh…uh…uh…yeah.



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Tech Support: All right…now double-click on the File Manager icon.

Customer: Thats why I hate this Windows — because of the icons — Im a Protestant, and I dont believe in icons.

Tech Support: Well, thats just an industry term sir. I dont believe it was meant to —

Customer: I dont care about any Industry Terms. I dont believe in icons.

Tech Support: Well…why dont you click on the little picture of a file cabinet…is little picture ok?

Customer: [click]



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Customer: My computer crashed!

Tech Support: It crashed?

Customer: Yeah, it wont let me play my game.

Tech Support: All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot.

Customer: No, it didnt crash — it crashed.

Tech Support: Huh?

Customer: I crashed my game. Thats what I said before. Now it doesnt work.

Turned out, the user was playing Lunar Lander and crashed his spaceship.

Tech Support: Click on File, then New Game.

Customer: [pause] Wow! Howd you learn how to do that?

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