Hickbonics!
Atlanta School Board
The Atlanta School Board, feeling left out by the fuss over Ebonics, has decided to designate Southern slang, or Hickphonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. Here are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:
HEIDI — noun. Greeting.
HIRE YEW – Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: Heidi. Hire yew.
BARD — verb. Past tense of the infinitive to borrow.
Usage: My brother bard my pickup truck.
JAWJUH — noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta.
Usage: My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck.
MUNTS — noun. A calendar division.
Usage: My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts.
IGNERT — adjective. Not smart. See Arkansas native.
Usage: Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!
RANCH — noun. A tool used for tightnin bolts.
Usage: I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago.
ALL — noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.
FAR — noun. A conflagration.
Usage: If my brother from Jawjuh dont change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far.
BAHS — noun. A supervisor.
Usage: If you dont stop reading these Southern words and git back to
work (or studying), your bahs is gonna far you!
TAR — noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh dont git a flat tar in my pickup truck.
TIRE — noun. A tall monument.
Usage: Lord willin and the creek dont rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime.
RETARD — Verb. To stop working.
Usage: My grampaw retard at age 65.
TARRED — adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred.
FAT — noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or
combat.
ARE — pronoun. Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective.
RATS — noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: We Southerners are willin to fat for are rats.
FARN — adjective. Not local.
Usage: I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed… must be from some farn
country.
DID — adjective. Not alive.
Usage: Hes did, Jim.
EAR — noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: He caint breath … give im some ear!
BOB WAR — noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.
JEW HERE — Noun and verb contraction.
Usage: Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cumpny?
HAZE — a contraction.
Usage: Is Bubba smart? Nah… haze ignert.
SEED — verb, past tense.
VIEW — contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: I aint never seed New York City… view?
Cele mai Votate Pisici