The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are
the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them
a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try
to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the
forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three
months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not
exist.

Then the FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the
forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make
no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

Then the LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly
beaten raccoon. The raccoon is yelling: Okay! Okay! Im a rabbit!
Im a rabbit!