Jewish Pet

A Nice Jewish Dog

A guy gets a new dog, a nice Jewish dog. So he calls him Irving.

He cant

wait to show him off to his neighbor, so when the neighbor

finally comes

over, the guy calls Irving into the house, bragging about how

smart he is.

The dog quickly comes running and stands looking up at his

master, tail

wagging excitedly, mouth open, tongue hanging out, eyes bright



The guy points to the newspaper by the door and commands Okay,



Immediately, the dog climbs on to the couch and sits, his tail


furiously. Then all of a sudden, he stops. His doggie smile

disappears. He

starts to frown and puts on a sour face.

Looking up at his master, he whines, You think this is easy,

wagging my

tail all the time? Oy … This constant wagging of the tail puts

me in

such pain, you should only know! And you think its easy eating

that dreck

you call designer dog food. Forget it…its too salty and it

gives me

gas. And also the runs, but what do you care? Why dont you try

it if you

think its so good? You try it. Dreck I say! Then you push me

out the door

to take care of my business, twice a day. Its disgusting I tell

you! And

when was the last time you took me for a nice long walk? I cant



The neighbor is absolutely amazed … stunned. In astonishment,

he says,

I cant believe it. Irving can speak. Your dog actually talks.

Here he is

sitting on the sofa talking to us.

I know, I know. says the owner. Hes not yet fully trained

yet. He

thought I said, Kvetch.

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