Never Fall Asleep In Church

One day Mr. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at his church. Reverend, he said, I have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. Its very embarrassing. What should I do?

I have an idea, said the minister. Take this pin with you. Ill be able to tell when shes sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give her a good poke in the leg with the pin.

In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. …And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you? he said, nodding to Mr. Jones.

Jesus! cried Mrs. Jones as her husband jabbed her in the leg with the pin.

Yes, you are right, Mrs. Jones, said the minister.

Soon, Mrs. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed her dozing. Who is your redeemer? he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mr. Jones.

God! cried out Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the pin once again. Right again, Mrs. Jones, said the minister, smiling and continuing his sermon.

Before long, Mrs. Jones dozed off again. However, this time the minister didnt notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to wake his wife again.

He was just sticking his wife with the pin again when the minister asked, …And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?

Mrs. Jones shrieked, You stick that damned thing in me one more time and Ill break it off and shove it up your ass!

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