Out Of College

You know youre out of college when…You dont know what time Taco Bell closesanymore.Your potted plants stay alive.Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.You keep more food than beer in the fridge.You have to pay your own credit card bill.You havent seen a soap opera in over ayear.8:00 a.m. is not early.You have to file your own taxes.You hear your favorite song on the elevatorat work.Youre not carded anymore.You carry an umbrella.Your friends marry and divorce instead ofhook-up and break-up.You start watching the Weather Channel.Jeans and baseball caps arent staples inyour wardrobe.You can no longer take shots, and smokinggives you a sinus attack.You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.You go to parties that the police dontraid.Adults feel comfortable telling jokes aboutsex in front of you.Your car insurance goes down, except whenyou move to Jersey.You refer to college students as kids.You drink wine, scotch and martinis insteadof beer, bourbon, and rum. Well, some of us still drink rum.You feed your dog Science Diet instead ofTaco Bell.Youre waking up at 6 a.m. instead of going tobed.College sweatshirts are casual instead ofdress up.Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.Naps are no longer available between noonand 6 p.m.Dinner and a movie — the whole date insteadof the beginning of one.You get your news from sources other thanUSA Today, ESPN Sportscenter, and MTV News.METABOLISM SLOWDOWNWine appreciation expands beyond Boones andMad Dog.You actually eat breakfast foods atbreakfast time.Grocery lists actually contain relativelyhealthy food.When drinking, you say at least once pernight I just cant put it down like I used to.Golf is beginning to seem a lot less silly.You decide your parents werent as dumb asyou thought!

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