Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you
thousands of years on trouble-free service, except that you undoubtably will
destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer maneuver.

Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR GODS SAKE READ THIS OWNERS MANUAL
CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE!

YOU ALREADY UNPACKED IT, DIDNT YOU? YOU UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND
TURNED IT ON AND FIDDLED WITH THE KNOBS, AND NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILD WHO
ONCE SHOVED A POLISH SAUSAGE INTO YOUR VIDEO CASSETTE RECORDER AND SET IT ON
FAST FORWARD, THIS CHILD IS ALSO FIDDLING WITH THE KNOBS, RIGHT?

AND YOURE JUST NOW STARTING TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS, RIGHT???

WE MIGHT JUST AS WELL JUST BREAK THESE DEVICES RIGHT AT THE FACTORY BEFORE WE
SHIP THEM OUT, YOU KNOW THAT?