Penis Length Survey

Men are notorious liars about their penis length, so I have devised the
following foolproof test.

Disrobe and stand by your keyboard. Rest your left testicle in the
rounded hollow on top of the 1 key. Rest your right testicle in the
key immediately below that (the Q key on a standard keyboard, probably
something different on the Dvorak keyboard. You lumberjacks may have to
use the A or even the Z key).
Grasp your thing in your right hand and slap it firmly across the
number key row on your keyboard. (For instance, my result is
1234567890-+ the backspace key removes the .)
Place a copy of the June, 1981 Playboy open to the centerfold at a
distance of 2.5 feet. Rest your thing on the keyboard and stare intently
at the girl pictured for five minutes or until your feet leave the ground.
Repeat the above test.
Please post your results to net.general and Ill summarize to everyone
on the net by personal mail.

Cautions

Do not attempt this test after swimming. You will skew the results.
Black men may wish to use a special extended keyboard; or place
two keyboards end to end.
If you try this test on a public keyboard, you may want to swab it down
with alcohol first.
On some keyboards, severe sparking may result. Be sure to keep a fire
extinguisher handy, and DONT BE AFRAID TO USE IT.

Remember, Larry Bud Melman is not an attorney.

Incidentally, this test can also be used to diagnose some genital disorders:

Test Results Diagnosis

1 You suffer from Short Penis Syndrome

12367 You have a strange gap in your penis

12efgbn Your penis has a right hand bend; sometimes called Jerkers Lean.

12wgui,l=] Seek immediate medical care.

Copyright by Scott Turner, reproduced with permission.