31
Dec

Screwing Light Bulps

How many men do you need to screw on a light bulp?
One. Theyll screw anything.

How many Finns does it take to change a light bulp?
Unknown, becouse when Finns notice that the light bulp is made of glass and
that it has threads they spend the entire night trying to fix it!

How many software pirates does it take to change a light bulp?
3, first one gets as new a light bulp as possible, the second changes it and
the third one codes an intro that says what they just achieved.

How many members of U2 does it take to change a light bulp?
One. Bono holds up the light bulp, and the universe revolves around his ass.

How many Lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulp?
50 to do it and the others to stand around and say, I could do that
better.

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulp?
They have a machine that does that now.

How many Filipinoes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
We dont know. The new bulb keeps getting shot at the airport.

How many Englishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
What do you mean change it? Its a perfectly good bloody bulb! We have had
it for a thousand years and it has worked just fine.

How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ve are asking ze qvestions here!
Two, one to give the order that the bulb be changed and one to screw it in.
None. They assign the task to a gastarbeiter.

How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They dont need to, they glow in the dark.

How many Serbs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two – one to shoot the old bulb out and one to screw the new one in.

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
They dont bother. They just change the standard to darkness. (Continuation:
Of course, the darkness isnt yet complete in version 1.0, but Microsoft
promises that in the next release it will be.)

How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Seven. One to screw it in and six to design the t-shirts.

How many Apple programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but why bother? Your light socket will just be obsolete in six
months anyway.

How many Apple and IBM nuts does it take to change a light bulb
An infinite number: nothing useful gets done while theyre arguing. Finally
a disgusted generic computer user (who will use any type that is in front of
him) gets up and changes the bulb, elbowing the participants aside. The size of
the crowd arguing seems to be a function of time, although whether or not the
function is exponential is not known.

How many Windows users does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but she/hell swear up and down that it was just as easy for him
as it would be for a Macintosh user.

How many Macintosh engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None – it has to be done by a local authorized dealer.

How many Mac owners does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None – theres no documentation available, so you have to wait until a
third-party supplier comes out with a solution. Did you try rebooting with
extensions off?
Just one, but the new light bulbs arent compatible with the old sockets, so
he has to buy a complete upgrade or a new light.
Two: One to ask the socket to eject the old bulb, and one to insert the new
one.
Three: One to change the bulb, one to copyright the method for changing the
bulb, and one to call in the lawyers on anyone who infringes on the look and
feel of the bulb changing method.
Mac users dont screw, they just click the genital icon.

How many Newtons does it take to change a light bulb?
Foux! There to eat lemons, axe gravy soup. Farm.

How many Newton users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, tharks to the extnq-producilve handwritling processcr.

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