Everybody who has a cat calls him Sweety or Kitten. I call mine Sex. Sex has
been embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his license, I told
the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex; he said he would like one too.
Then I said, But this is a cat. He said he didnt care what she looked like.
Then I said, You dont understand. I have had Sex since I was 9 years old. He
said I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the cat with me. I told the
clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He
said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, You dont understand,
Sex keeps me awake at night. The clerk said, Me too.

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the cat
ran away and a contestant asked me why I was standing there looking around. I
told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have
sold my own tickets. But you dont understand, I said, I hoped to have Sex on
TV. He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the cat.
I said, Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married. The judge said, Me too.
Then I told him that after I was separated, Sex left me. He said Me too.

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop
came over to me and asked me, What are you doing in this alley at 4:00 in the
morning. I said, I am looking for Sex. My case comes up on Friday.