These are all true Groucho Marx anecdotes garnered from The Portable
Curmudgeon compiled by Jon Winokur.

Groucho Marx was having problems sexually (premature ejaculation).
Someone recommended a topical cream guaranteed to prolong erection. When asked
later whether it worked, Groucho replied, I came rubbing the stuff on.

A guest on Groucho Marxs You Bet Your Life television show was a
woman who had given birth to twenty-two children. I love my husband, the
woman explained sheepishly.

I love my cigar too, Groucho said, but I take it out once in a
while.

[Ed: Reportedly Apocryphal]