Texan Buys Spread

A loud American, looking for properties to buy out in Australia is in the bar of the Railway Hotel.

Yeah, maam he says to the barmaid ahm looking to buy me a ranch- stations, you call them, so they tell me. Ah come from Texas and ahm looking for a big spread because where I come from in Texas, everythang is BIG. Why, do you know, mah ranch in Texas is so big, it takes a whole week to ride around it on a horse?

Yeah? says a wizened station hand sitting at the bar. If we had a horse like that wed turn it into glue.

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