Things A Southerner Would Never Say:

1. Oh I just couldnt. Hell, shes only sixteen.
2. Ill take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
3. Duct tape wont fix that.
4. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
5. Come to think of it, Ill have a Heineken.
6. We dont keep firearms in this house.
7. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
8. You cant feed that to the dog.
9. I thought Graceland was tacky.
10. No kids in the back of the pickup, its just not safe.
11. Wrasslins fake.
12. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
13. Were vegetarians.
14. Do you think my gut is too big?
15. Ill have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
16. Honey, we dont need another dog.
17. Whos Richard Petty?
18. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
19. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
20. Spittin is such a nasty habit.

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