Things You Cant Say at Work

Ahhh…I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again…

I dont know what your problem is, but Ill bet its hard to pronounce.

I see youve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

Ill try being nicer if youll try being smarter.

It sounds like English, but I cant understand a word youre saying.

I can see your point, but I still think youre full of shit.

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I have plenty of talent and vision. I just dont give a damn.

Im already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

Thank you. Were all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be…?

Do I look like a people person?

This isnt an office. Its Hell with fluorescent lighting.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

Im trying to imagine you with a personality.

Can I trade this job for whats behind door #1?

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck.

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