Tips to help you prepare

Tips to help you prepare for your new house mate…1. Take cold chicken and stars soup straight from the can and splash it across the carpet and the foot of the bed and then walk in it in the dark with your socks on.2. Set up a mouse trap at the foot of the bed each night so that if you move a toe one inch while you are sleeping, you are sure to get snapped.3. Cover all your best suits with cat hair. Dark suits must use white hair, and light suits must use dark hair. Also, float some hair in your first cup of coffee in the morning.4. Put everything cat-toy sized into a water bowl to marinate.5. Practice cutting your chicken into teeny tiny bites so that when they steal, it wont be the whole breast.6. Tip over a basket of clean laundry, and scatter clothing all over the floor.7. Leave your underwear on the living room floor, because thats where the cat will drag it anyway (especially when you have company).8. Jump out of your chair shortly before the end of your favorite TV program and run to the TV shouting No! No! Dont chew on the electric cord! Miss the end of the program.9. Put chocolate pudding on the carpet in the corner of the living room in the morning and dont try to clean it up until you return from work that evening.10. Gouge the surface of the dining room table several times with an exacto knife. Its going to get scratched anyway.11. Practice searching every closet and open cabinet door before you shut it.12. Knock all small items off your kitchen counter. 13. Chew the eraser off every pencil in the house.14. Take a fork and shred the roll of toilet paper while its still hanging up. Pull a few sheets off and scatter them around the bathroom.15. Take a staple remover and punch two holes in every scrap of paper around the house.16. Get a litter tray without a lid and mix in some tootsie rolls with cat litter and then tip it over right before the company comes. Make sure your guests ge

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