Top 10 signs that you are in the wrong church:

10. The church bus has gun racks.
9. The church staff consists of senior pastor, associate pastor and sociopastor.
8. The Bible they use is the Dr. Seuss version.
7. There is an ATM in the lobby.
6. The choir wears leather robes.
5. The worship services are B.Y.O.S. (bring your own snake).
4. Theres no cover charge but communion is a two-drink minimum.
3. The pastor regularly attends meetings in Las Vegas and Atlantic City.
2. The ushers ask, Smoking or non-smoking?
1. The Womens Quartet are all married to the pastor.

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