Top ten signs its cold in New York

  1. Pickpockets put hands in strangers pockets to keep warm
  2. You can walk across frozen East River, and see dozens of mob informants beneath you
  3. Taxi drivers wear turbans with ear flaps
  4. Mike Wallace and Morley Safer are constantly hugging
  5. The hookers have on long-johns
  6. Chemicals that make up the Hudson River have congealed into a thick greenish paste
  7. Whenever a bike messenger gets hit by a cab, he shatters into a million tiny pieces
  8. Headline in New York Post: Man Stabbed in Midtown for CBS Earmuffs (Dave dialed up the bank of pay phones down the street from the theater and had two people run down to meet him inside. Because of the cold, he gave one of them a set of earmuffs with the CBS logo on each ear)
  9. You can see peoples breath when they yell Screw you!
  10. Everyones wearing pants

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