Joe Sensitive - After I wash the dishes, lets cuddle, OK?
Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling,
Soft-boiled Egg, Snugglepup
Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts
Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy
Old Man Grumpus - People are stupid. The world can go to hell.
Lets stay home and watch TV.
Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey,
Slow Mover, Jerk
Advantages: Stays put; predictable
Disadvantages: Royal pain in the butt
Flinchy - I–Im sorry for whatever it was I did.
Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you
Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled
Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle
Bigfoot - Shut yer trap, Im thinkin.
Also known as: Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk,
BignDumb
Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled
Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig
Lazybones - Zzzzzz
Also known as: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket,
Drug Addict
Advantages: Well rested; easy target
Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfull your dreams
The Sneak - Who, me?
Also known as: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, Goshdarn Son of a
bum
Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt
Disadvantages: May be having time of his life
Ace of Hearts - After I wash the dishes lets make love
like crazed weasels, OK?
Also known as: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova,
Monster
Advantages: Perpetually aroused
Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused
The Dreamer - Someday Im going to be rich and famous.
I dont know how, but–
Also known as: Struggling artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of
Wind, Fool
Advantages: Tells good stories
Disadvantages: Will turn into Old Man Grumpus
Mr. Right - While the servants wash the dishes, lets make love
like crazed weasels in my new yacht, OK?
Also known as: Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy
Advantages: Answer to a womans prayer
Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction