03
Apr

Ways Microsoft Would Be Different If It Was Headquarted In Georgia

Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
Instead of an hourglass icon youd get an empty beer bottle
Occasionally youd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag
Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naw
Instead of Ta-Da!, the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
The Recycle Bin in Winders 95 would be an outhouse
Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player youd hear a digitized drunk
redneck yelling Freebird!
Instead of Start Me Up, the Winders 95 theme song would be
Achy-Breaky Heart
PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt
Microsofts programming tools would be Vishul Basic and Vishul C++
Winders 95 logo would incorporate Confederate Flag
Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have KKK servers.
New Shutdown WAV: Yall come back now!
Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called Cuz
Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
Microsoft Office replaced with Micrsawft Henhouse
Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver
Well, the first thing you know, old Bills a billionaire
Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in
your front yard
Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator
Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
Redman plugnplay interface.
They could still use Kay-row as code name for next upgrade, but Albenny
would be the one after that.
Screen saver would be a kudzu vine which would consume your program
manager.
Instructions for use would include mash the control key.

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