30
Oct

Ways To Confuse Santa Claus

Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining
that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While hes in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding
ticket.
Leave him a note, explaining that youve gone away for the holidays.
Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
While hes in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas.
Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy
when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that
say We hate Christmas, and Go away Santa.
Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called
and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on
his way home.
Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney.
Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.
While hes in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as
he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldnt have missed that
last payment, and take off.
Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a
note that says, For The Tooth Fairy. 🙂 Leave another plate out
with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass
with a note that says, For Santa. 🙁
Take everything out of your house as if its just been robbed. When
Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, Well, well.
They always return to the scene of the crime.
Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and
corrections.
While hes in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santas sure to see
them. Go outside, yell, Ooh! Look! A deer! And hes got a red
nose! and fire a gun.
Leave Santa a note, explaining that youve moved. Include a map with
unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get
caught in it, and then explain that youre sorry, but from a distance,
he looked like a bear.
Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.
Paint hoof-prints all over your face and clothes. While hes in
the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like
youve been trampled. Threaten to sue.
Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.
Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say,
This neighborhood aint big enough for the both of us.

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