1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:

a) Lovemaking

b) Screwing

c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after youve
both shared:

a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship

b) Your blood-test results

c) Five tequila slammers

3. You time your orgasm so that:

a) Your partner climaxes first

b) You both climax simultaneously

c) You dont miss Sports Center

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

a) Healthy, creative love-play

b) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to

c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman youve just had sex with
is:

a) The best part of the experience

b) The second best part of the experience

c) $100 extra

6. Your girlfriend says shes gained five pounds in weight in the last
month. You tell her that it is:

a) Not a concern of yours

b) Not a problem – she can join your gym

c) A conservative estimate

7. You think todays sensitive, caring man is:

a) A myth

b) An oxymoron

c) A moron

8. Foreplay is to sex as:

a) Appetizer is to entree

b) Priming is to painting

c) A queue is to an amusement park ride

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying
at the end of a relationship?

a) I hope we can still be friends.

b) Im not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone….

c) Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

a) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort
of intimacy

b) Is uptight and a waste of time

c) Shouldnt have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

If you answered A more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure
you really are a man.

If you answered B more than 7 times, check into therapy, youre still
a little confused.

If you answered C more than 7 times, call me up. Lets go drinking.